What a joke, I couldn't even start writing this entry easily and naturally like how I used to.

It's been long, real long. No one will ever understand how much I miss this, all of this.

I remember I used to sit in front of the computer, right after school, home-alone, embracing the sun and the quietness, blogging freely. I would blast my playlist, enjoying every single moment of it. Song recommendations, 'Listening to' mostly Chinese music as the start of my entries, and then surfing the net, through whatever that I truly loved back then. Constantly improving my blog template, doing tag replies and all of those sort. Sadly, I can't do those anymore.

Emotions are running through my entire body as I'm typing this now. I feel like crying, so bad. Crying out how much I can't go back to those simple carefree days, crying out the desperation I have in me all these while of wanting to go back to those times.

[edited] (I'm trying!) Oh, I forgot to say, Christmas' approaching, and every year I wish the same thing, is to have a time machine, to go back to 2010, or maybe even earlier, and live a good life from there.

Not that I don't lead a good one now, but it's just.. [/edited] (I did good? Hah.)

This blog account that I have means so much more to me than anyone out there can ever understand.

I'm using my laptop now, not that computer.
I'm listening to Korean and English music now, I couldn't catch up with Chinese music anymore.
I can't do blog templates now, I've forgotten.
I've lost myself, lost my passion.

Everything now feels like a competition, everyone just judge judge and judge whatever you do. Changes are never good, they always suck, they cause everyone to forget everything 'before the change'. Socialising's so tough right now I feel like bursting. I'm tired, and all I want is to go back.

[edited] Should I embrace the change? Should I accept that I've grown up and it's the stages I have to face? I should. It isn't wrong. But it isn't wrong to want to go back is it? I mean, after all, moving forward sucks. [/edited]

Even blogger's layout changed. Wow.

I can't blog like how I used to. The enthusiastic, simple, clear-minded, just going along with the passion me. But I'm so so so so so glad I blogged, I've noted down the best few years of my life down at this wonderful place, yet at the same time I'm extremely upset with myself for not continuing. I suck. I hate this.

This is probably the only place I can voice out whatever shit I want, upset, angry, emotional. I'm trying hard to think of what I want to say here because I want to just vent it all out.

Hah, I'm actually voicing out things literally now.

'I hate that I've changed. I hate that things around me changed. I hate that I can't go back. I hate that I'm forgetting those memories.'

I tweeted that. 'tweeted'. Since when did I want to use Twitter? What a joke I am.

I've changed a lot. Much more than anyone could see except me. And I hate this. But I love this space, and I will forever, because nothing in the world is more precious than the space here, it holds all my memories I am willing to exchange anything for to go back.

I am repeating. Shit. I am getting hold.

Btw, I'm 19 now.

I think I'm ending. It feels better typing all of these out.

I'm not closing this place, I'll never. But the template.. I've changed. Maybe someday I'll just work on it.

Oh, I was more positive last time. Argh so much more I can't voice out but they're all in my head. But well, here and my head, we are one :)

Idk how this sounds but you (wth I'm actually confessing to a blog?!) are the closest thing I have now. I treasure you, so please don't ever go away.

I'm not going to regularly blog here and rely on this space. Maybe once in a while when emotions are overwhelming like tonight.

And what can I say, maybe I might keep this template, too much memories.

I miss blogging, I really do. But that is if I was still 14/15/16/17 years old. Now? Idk how to put it but, nah :)

I'm glad I blogged. Yep, this is '[/edited]' or however I did it last time. Hah :)

Almost half an hour on this entry, edited many things like crazy, and all was worth it. Hmm, maybe I should leave a memory here.. Been watching 粉爱粉爱你 now, deadly awesome! (HAH, A NORM!)

Alright, time to really move on. I feel so much better. Thank you :)

What a joke, I couldn't even start writing this entry easily and naturally like how I used to.

It's been long, real long. No one will ever understand how much I miss this, all of this.

I remember I used to sit in front of the computer, right after school, home-alone, embracing the sun and the quietness, blogging freely. I would blast my playlist, enjoying every single moment of it. Song recommendations, 'Listening to' mostly Chinese music as the start of my entries, and then surfing the net, through whatever that I truly loved back then. Constantly improving my blog template, doing tag replies and all of those sort. Sadly, I can't do those anymore.

Emotions are running through my entire body as I'm typing this now. I feel like crying, so bad. Crying out how much I can't go back to those simple carefree days, crying out the desperation I have in me all these while of wanting to go back to those times.

[edited] (I'm trying!) Oh, I forgot to say, Christmas' approaching, and every year I wish the same thing, is to have a time machine, to go back to 2010, or maybe even earlier, and live a good life from there.

Not that I don't lead a good one now, but it's just.. [/edited] (I did good? Hah.)

This blog account that I have means so much more to me than anyone out there can ever understand.

I'm using my laptop now, not that computer.
I'm listening to Korean and English music now, I couldn't catch up with Chinese music anymore.
I can't do blog templates now, I've forgotten.
I've lost myself, lost my passion.

Everything now feels like a competition, everyone just judge judge and judge whatever you do. Changes are never good, they always suck, they cause everyone to forget everything 'before the change'. Socialising's so tough right now I feel like bursting. I'm tired, and all I want is to go back.

[edited] Should I embrace the change? Should I accept that I've grown up and it's the stages I have to face? I should. It isn't wrong. But it isn't wrong to want to go back is it? I mean, after all, moving forward sucks. [/edited]

Even blogger's layout changed. Wow.

I can't blog like how I used to. The enthusiastic, simple, clear-minded, just going along with the passion me. But I'm so so so so so glad I blogged, I've noted down the best few years of my life down at this wonderful place, yet at the same time I'm extremely upset with myself for not continuing. I suck. I hate this.

This is probably the only place I can voice out whatever shit I want, upset, angry, emotional. I'm trying hard to think of what I want to say here because I want to just vent it all out.

Hah, I'm actually voicing out things literally now.

'I hate that I've changed. I hate that things around me changed. I hate that I can't go back. I hate that I'm forgetting those memories.'

I tweeted that. 'tweeted'. Since when did I want to use Twitter? What a joke I am.

I've changed a lot. Much more than anyone could see except me. And I hate this. But I love this space, and I will forever, because nothing in the world is more precious than the space here, it holds all my memories I am willing to exchange anything for to go back.

I am repeating. Shit. I am getting hold.

Btw, I'm 19 now.

I think I'm ending. It feels better typing all of these out.

I'm not closing this place, I'll never. But the template.. I've changed. Maybe someday I'll just work on it.

Oh, I was more positive last time. Argh so much more I can't voice out but they're all in my head. But well, here and my head, we are one :)

Idk how this sounds but you (wth I'm actually confessing to a blog?!) are the closest thing I have now. I treasure you, so please don't ever go away.

I'm not going to regularly blog here and rely on this space. Maybe once in a while when emotions are overwhelming like tonight.

And what can I say, maybe I might keep this template, too much memories.

I miss blogging, I really do. But that is if I was still 14/15/16/17 years old. Now? Idk how to put it but, nah :)

I'm glad I blogged. Yep, this is '[/edited]' or however I did it last time. Hah :)

Almost half an hour on this entry, edited many things like crazy, and all was worth it. Hmm, maybe I should leave a memory here.. Been watching 粉爱粉爱你 now, deadly awesome! (HAH, A NORM!)

Alright, time to really move on. I feel so much better. Thank you :)

Call me YiJia, it's more preferable. September 12th, I don't expect many to remember. I listen to both Chinese and English songs, and is fan of a lot of stuff, not only them two. And that, further left, that's The Vampire Diaries, TVD. It's not that hard to not-know. Besides, it's pretty obvious.